tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631497501920796782012-02-16T00:32:14.908-08:00One writer, one plant, a world of adventuresEnnui Prayernoreply@blogger.comBlogger891100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-27501022243292750772008-06-10T02:23:00.000-07:002008-06-10T02:24:15.144-07:00

Here we go.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-82408394594816632122008-06-07T12:47:00.000-07:002008-06-07T12:49:22.966-07:00

While I tried to make my life here at Blogger work for me, sadly it hasn't. It's been two months since I made the transition from the Wordpress account to this one, but not to much advantage. I'm once again, moving from the blogger account to a WordPress account. Sadly, this is something I feel that needs to be done.Hopefully, however, I will be kind and only make a small list of tags and

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-87928729289180704782008-06-07T06:34:00.000-07:002008-06-07T07:03:22.479-07:00

"If you see here, say hello." I recline back and think for a second that maybe things might shape up, but who am I kidding? There isn't anything here for me and maybe there never was. Or is there. With constant confusion, I've being pulled by the elements and I'm left to wonder what the hell's going to happen now. I know there isn't a single thing for me to think about at this moment, but at the

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-32369013784677606372008-06-06T18:37:00.000-07:002008-06-06T18:57:32.495-07:00

Come gather 'round peopleWherever you roamAnd admit that the watersAround you have grownAnd accept it that soonYou'll be drenched to the bone.If your time to youIs worth savin'Then you better start swimmin'Or you'll sink like a stoneFor the times they are a-changin' I've been thinking a lot about the future and I know in reality this whole road trip to wherever is just me running away. However, I

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-23308206862525850642008-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:002008-06-03T09:34:30.812-07:00

Need to get some writing down. I haven't written about anything in a while. I think the first thing I should write is the list of things I need. I know I never get any reading done when I'm out, but I feel naked without a book. Then there's the pens and paper (I have two journals so I'll just need one of those). I gotta find my other baseball cap. I need to think things straight and figure out

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-27431942460963315092008-05-30T13:39:00.000-07:002008-05-30T13:50:45.335-07:00

There isn't a single track of all music history that I'd rather off myself than Mr. Tambourine Man. Besides its heavy drug overtones, I hear a song of melancholy. The dreadful decay of a person who wants so badly to continue on but without the aid of the drug, the narrator doesn't have the nerve. A song about heroin withdrawal never sounded beautifully. Each time I hear this song, I picture a man

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-3464492727131627112008-05-25T12:08:00.000-07:002008-05-25T12:17:14.564-07:00

I've been so defiant when it comes to taking medication for my depression. I'm aware that pills help some people, but it's not a natural feeling for me. "Feel like yourself again," the slogan reads. That's funny, I think. I thought that's what I was trying to escape.I walk around in the morning feeling a sense of emptiness. With Jyg removed from the equation, I feel like a weight has been lifted

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-70755300570203381552008-05-23T12:01:00.000-07:002008-05-23T12:08:51.842-07:00

I feel as if I have to explain myself because of my last post. A lot of you know that I'm Agnostic and that I have no problem with believers or Atheists at any level. I've always been on the middle ground and given people a benefit of the doubt.My last blog was in no way an intentional attack on Christians in of themselves, but a question posed for fundamentals. I've offended and upset a few of

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-49695855667364782962008-05-22T20:22:00.000-07:002008-05-22T20:26:14.884-07:00

I find this slightly bemusing, yet rather ironic. You're a Christian singer and you make a life out of brainwashing those around with your garbage about the existence of a one true god, so how does your divine creator repay you? He gets your teenage son to run over your five-year-old. So where is your god now, Stephen Curtis Chapman?

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-4462242854337581142008-05-22T19:03:00.000-07:002008-05-22T19:08:01.099-07:00

Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it push in. Feel it

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-17478170197798899102008-05-20T18:42:00.001-07:002008-05-20T18:44:59.387-07:00

I'm pulling my hair out. There is a reason why I haven't called any of you lately and that's simply because I want to be left alone. I've enough on my own that I don't want other people's burdens upon my back. I'm doing things that I can't explain anymore. I don't want to talk on the phone. I just don't.What little of my life I have left is vaporizing and now I have to worry about my mother. I

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-27906488286345273822008-05-18T00:51:00.001-07:002008-05-18T00:53:57.963-07:00

Yeah. I've been out of it. Sorry. I have much to tell and much to do. I'll do it later though, because today I have to introduce and network you to a friend of mine.Please visit his blog, Axtlanadu. I'm sure those of you who read mine and who get along with me and my sense of the world will like him. He's just starting out, but he has a Myspace as well. My friends on Myspace will just have to

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-64365851473022264122008-05-15T13:25:00.000-07:002008-05-15T13:34:40.991-07:00

I hate meeting people online. Main reason: So many people that I'm introduced to online live so far away. Case in point, Jenndiggity. I love her. She's the best person I've ever met online and I'm sad that she lives all the way in Spokane.And now I meet Riot Girl. What are the fates trying to tell me? Are they urging me out of that door, out of this city, out of this state? Without money and an

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-79222021264414512822008-05-13T15:00:00.000-07:002008-05-20T01:15:05.898-07:00

each part of me that i held on to for so long evaporated in the heat of our passion.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-79632601997800949222008-05-11T11:08:00.000-07:002008-05-11T11:48:31.805-07:00

Marilyn Manson - Putting Holes In HappinessUploaded by MarilynMansonMourners gather round the bodywhile mothers weep the dirgeof a man's undeserved love.The saints are in the meadowwearing stained glass smiles,martyrs with suicide-style mindsSo nail my coffin, seal up this tombmake your heart emptyto make room for the someone else.You've got your blackI've got your chainsto steady me from the

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-11212697858384370272008-05-11T10:03:00.000-07:002008-05-24T05:58:28.426-07:00

Because I'm writing about Cannabis and been focusing on the subject for a good chuck of my life last few weeks, I had forgotten about this until an e-mail arrived one morning.Well, it's about time.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-72776300531154810672008-05-10T17:16:00.000-07:002008-05-10T17:19:44.387-07:00

I want your pain to be the sanguine that bleeds from my heart&eyes.And I want my pain to be your Stigmata.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-37656503584287110552008-05-09T21:59:00.000-07:002008-05-10T11:57:35.492-07:00

The reading at Hastings went over well. It was afterwards that ruined the night for me, Jyg, Philosopher, Bell and The Squid. It was so horrible that I had to call El Senor to come over from Newmans, a bar right across the street, to make sure the menace wasn't still outside. But more on that later.I read a few poems, three actually, at the reading. I intended to be prepared, but things got in

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-6258867152655077672008-05-09T13:31:00.001-07:002008-05-09T13:51:13.726-07:00

Earlier, Philosopher said I had a Christian dating site ad here. That's nothing compared to the anomoly that Adsense has created here. Well, take a look for yourself:Well, Christian Clipart is nothing. It's something that just is. Why anyone needs it, I'll never understand, but it's here. However, just in case you're a Christian, and a single Christian male, then perhaps you should also have a

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-10396484216527056192008-05-09T13:19:00.001-07:002008-05-09T13:27:37.592-07:00

I Am He That Aches With LoveI am he that aches with amorous love;Does the earth gravitate? does not all matter, aching, attract all matter?So the body of me to all I meet or know.Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-25142443439679456592008-05-08T16:51:00.002-07:002008-05-08T16:57:16.223-07:00

My friend Alice called me. I haven't spoken to her in at least two years. It was depressing to hear she was married because of her situation. I'm not sure what to think, really. I'm just glad to know she wants to hang out with me.Marilyn Manson - Heart-Shaped GlassesUploaded by clemeiro

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-82214709177413141612008-05-08T08:47:00.000-07:002009-02-13T17:48:42.677-08:00

Ol Biker's a conservative in many ways. I never asked about his political views, but his religious views are strong. Before I became president of Sigma Tau Delta, I tried to tell him that not everyone is a Christian after he suggested we have a Nativity Scene at our booth for the Night of Lights. His reasoning was that Christmas was Christ-mass. I tried to tell him about the pagan origins of the

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-33212439336366106202008-05-07T21:24:00.001-07:002008-05-08T11:23:11.360-07:00

"Perfections"Only themselves understand themselves and the like of themselves,As souls only understand souls.---Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-25327085864616392652008-05-06T23:56:00.000-07:002008-05-07T00:00:45.881-07:00

I'm not well. I said and did a lot of weird shit yesterday (meaning monday) and I'm not too proud of them. Oh well, I forgot to post on Tuesday.Sorry...I'm trying to write a new poem...I have the words stuck in my head...and I think I'm gonna name it Stigmata when I'm done...----------------Now playing: Afroman - Because I Got Highvia FoxyTunes

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-43663863386716526002008-05-05T22:15:00.000-07:002008-05-05T22:43:55.741-07:00

El Senor takes a huge chop of his cookie, at least it looks that way to me. The two sandwiches in my stomach haven't done a dent in my hunger. Of course I did eat them hours apart and that was hours before the Hastings trip and about thirty minutes before Adam's house. Fuck, I think. Will El share this fucking cookie or what? And if I'm this hungry, I can only imagine El's twice as much with THC

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-17303004712107911362008-05-04T10:44:00.000-07:002008-05-04T11:09:28.527-07:00

El Senor, a deaf man, walks behind me at Hastings. Normally, I do this because I know he's deaf and I like fucking with him when he doesn't have his hearing aids on. Otherwise, I wouldn't ever walk in front of him. As I'm leading him towards the book I'm reading, Hunter S. Thomas's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I talk to him over my shoulder. Under my arm, I'm holding four magazines, all them

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-50906340560984655832008-05-04T10:40:00.000-07:002008-05-04T10:43:06.958-07:00

If my memory serves me right, to day should've been day 90 and had she been real, poor old Jane would've offed herself today. No such luck. Oh well.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-62307322697122114842008-05-03T17:49:00.000-07:002008-05-03T23:34:44.713-07:00

El Senor took one last toke of the bong, smiled and blew the smoke out. Coughing, as well. Coughing a lot. Turning to me, he said, "You driving?" Adam and S/O laughed and I lowered my head. Not in shame, but because the fact that I didn't really want the day to end. Fuck, I thought, El's stoned. We talk a bit about S/O's shoe, a sandal actually, the heel of which had fallen off. I started packing

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-15560006104830068212008-05-03T14:24:00.000-07:002008-05-03T14:54:50.983-07:00

I'm searching through my philosophy books to make connections that I can later use as a defense of my "arrest" on charges of cannabis. Really, the fictional aspect of this whole deal involves a lot of actual research on the nonfiction accounts. That's why I asked for Adam's help. I'd ask Eric as well, but he's off in San Marcos and that's too much for me to even fathom. Besides, he has his life

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-71293051296027111552008-05-03T12:24:00.000-07:002008-05-03T13:07:34.685-07:00

I just had Chinese before starting this blog. My fortune cookie reads:Now is a great time to broaden your scope of influence.I think the baker's trying to tell me something. I think it may have something to do with Adam Zuniga (one day, when I'm not lazy, I'll just post all those WordPress blogs here and just delete that account - minus Sex Wednesday stuff, that is). However, it may also have to

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-36797731921310997682008-05-02T09:43:00.000-07:002008-05-02T09:45:54.995-07:00

You decide.Videos Graciosos - Shakira - La Gordura - Funny videos are here

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-20008081663932293132008-05-02T08:51:00.000-07:002008-05-03T11:51:25.701-07:00

Pick up Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas because Atonement was getting me down. That and I find it hard to read a book about love that can survive anything given to me by my Jyg a few weeks after she left me for my birthday. Oops, there I go again, dropping all my misery into this very public blog. I think for the most part, reading Hunter S. Thomson - not to mention dabbing into Tom Wolfe - and

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-20694693199937900702008-05-01T23:56:00.000-07:002008-05-01T23:57:44.819-07:00

I'm not sorry, really, for ignoring a lot of phone calls lately. I've been awfully busy lately and I just can't pick up a phone. So if you're calling me and I'm not answering, I'm not really ignoring you as I am more than likely writing or reading, or sleeping (fingers crossed).

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-45521750362331849032008-05-01T11:45:00.000-07:002008-05-01T11:53:58.661-07:00

You are the guidance and the truththat I have been seekingand I can't believe you're still standing herewith tears in your eyesstill able to adore me for who I amand not all that I could've been.So here I am living through complicationsof loving someone I can never have,just holding onto each of your wordswritten on the screen,praying that our worlds will one day meetbut no god will heed me.What

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-27815186594061982872008-05-01T09:30:00.000-07:002008-05-01T09:35:05.708-07:00

I got a message from my exgirlfriend, Jess, yesterday. She called me last night, blocked call, and I assumed a certain someone had become some sly puss and blocked their call. After the phone calls, she sent me a comment on MySpace and I read it. I'm not sure what's going on in her world, but it has me worried. I told her to call me back, but she either didn't get that message or she ignored it.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-44840427399934520352008-04-30T12:14:00.000-07:002008-04-30T12:15:30.054-07:00

Hey, I just said it may or may not be good...didn't say I endorsed it.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-49571410178642316782008-04-30T08:51:00.000-07:002008-04-30T09:02:14.523-07:00

I've been thinking a lot of about the girl a lot. I think about her constantly. And while I think things are going well with us, I have my doubts that it will ever be just okay. She told me that this phase isn't going to last forever. I have my doubts because she's going to come back a whole different person. And while I sit here and wait for her like a sucker, I have this urge to just move on

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-82736747028689639632008-04-29T21:14:00.000-07:002008-04-29T21:30:55.601-07:00

Sometimes I feel like that movie City of Angels, minus the whole mythological being falling from grace in order of being with the imperfect human he has fallen in love with. Also, minus that imperfect being stupidly neglecting to pay attention to anything as she's riding her bike and winds up getting killed. And minus the fact that I think god in someway is punishing me....Now that I think about

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-89633536829892635442008-04-29T18:39:00.000-07:002008-04-29T18:51:06.576-07:00

I got some news that should be disturbing today, but I'm not disturbed by it at all. For the most part, I don't think it's true or likely. And if it were, then it might be the end of something and perhaps the end of me. I haven't told anyone and I probably won't. This is only between me and the bearer of the news because frankly, there isn't a thing any one of you can do to help me through this.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-38036567729312278402008-04-29T11:59:00.001-07:002008-04-29T12:36:45.122-07:00

Everyone's going gaga over the Miley Cyrus photo for Vanity Fair. The conservatives over at Disney - a.k.a. Nazi Child Wonderland - are fumed by it, stating that the magazine and photographer manipulated Miley into doing the spread. Now I'm not one to poke my head into the business of Hollywood, that isn't what this blog is about - what is it about? I dunno, I'll tell you next Thursday. But

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-51467755594420345042008-04-29T11:06:00.001-07:002008-04-29T11:10:34.045-07:00

El Senor says I have a weird relationship with Jyg. I told him, it could be stranger. Thing is, I think what ever relationship we have now is absolutely strange and new to me. I've never been best friends with someone who has hurt me in such a way. I'd go into details, but I'd rather not. You all don't even know the half of it.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-15480969542697022182008-04-28T22:16:00.000-07:002008-04-28T22:34:59.557-07:00

"God has got his phone off the hook, babeWould he even pick up if he could?It's been a while since we saw that childHanging round this neighbourhoodSee his mother dealing in a doorwaySee Father Christmas with a begging bowlJesus' sister's eyes are a blisterThe High Street never looked so low"Sometimes it feels that if there were a god up there in the sky, s/he left the phone off the hook eons ago

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-64237049794365715532008-04-28T14:22:00.000-07:002008-04-28T14:36:56.839-07:00

Alarm Clock Problems - Click here for more home videosI woke up a little congested and my chest was pounding beneath my skin. The day was going to be great. At least the rain made it feel like it might be worth anything. I made my way out of my bed, down to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a leak (too much info?). I probably scratched my ass along the way as well, which, in case you needed

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-11177056901611668912008-04-26T16:46:00.000-07:002008-04-26T17:38:12.513-07:00

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-12757051190520486702008-04-26T10:59:00.000-07:002008-04-26T11:12:24.114-07:00

When ShowTime announced the ending of The L Word the world of possible of lesbians and men exploded with a petition to save the show. They compared it to the time Friday Night Lights was saved by viewer force, when reality, had the viewers actually tuned in to the mundane, yet extraordinary, show, it wouldn't have been threatened with a pull.Now time has come for Wildfire to end, as the ABC

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-80970564167843113292008-04-25T09:57:00.000-07:002008-04-25T15:02:14.236-07:00

So I started using for a while now. Nothing too extravagant comes out of it, but it's what I do to get attention and butts in the seats. Most of the people reading are people that know me and because I left my writing niche back at the WordPress account and with the demise of my relationship with Jyg. But never fear, Adsense is here! So you know, I can read the links that are posted all over the

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-66591310275971290712008-04-25T08:40:00.000-07:002008-04-25T08:43:27.621-07:00

MEXICAN INTERPRETERUn mexicano busca un amigo, también mexicano, para que lo ayude en la traducción con un doctor.En el consultorio del doctor:Doctor: What's wrong with your friend?Amigo: Dice el doctor ¿Que es lo que tienes?Mexicano: Dile que me duele en medio de las paletas y el dolor me sube hasta la sien.Amigo: He says that his popsicles hurt in the middle and it goes up to the one

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-61082952824285348862008-04-24T23:45:00.000-07:002008-04-25T00:06:17.362-07:00

I've kept my own sexuality under wraps because it cost me a relationship in the past. Anyone who knows me since high school, knows what I'm talking about. The reason I "chose" to be straight was because it was more acceptable. I was with Jess at the time that I "chose" to be this way. But in reality, I was forced. I thought I had something with her, and it cost me my own identity. I know I've

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-78855903266223942542008-04-24T20:46:00.000-07:002008-04-24T20:47:06.541-07:00

see more crazy cat picsIf you can't laugh at this, then you need a life.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-10661610840426866472008-04-24T20:15:00.000-07:002008-04-25T14:14:04.937-07:00

I'm not sure what names I would write in it. Would I write those of politicians? World leaders gone mad with power? Selfish people who have betrayed and hurt me? That's too much for a person like myself to think about. So I'll live vicariously through manga, anime and cinema.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-47747533629598922922008-04-24T17:29:00.000-07:002008-04-24T17:50:25.048-07:00

I haven't been writing for a while, except for the blogs which is probably the only thing that keeps me sane these days, so it'll come to you as no surprise that the poem that I'm posting in stages here is the first thing I've written since Emmy Perez's creative writing course.I'll probably never admit who the person is I'm talking about in the piece, which, I'm sorry to say will probably never

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-15418818063151097662008-04-24T14:39:00.000-07:002008-04-24T14:53:24.937-07:00

Can't believe you're standing here,tears in your eyes,still adoring me for who I amand not for what I could have been.Ignore the scars upon the fleshand comfort me in your armstake away the harm that blinds meIgnore these scars of mineand take me in your armsto comfort the harm away and sing me to sleepto comfort the harm away.Am I your dark messiahyour hope in the dead of night,or am I more than

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-59752567756368987152008-04-24T08:01:00.000-07:002008-04-24T11:06:10.914-07:00

Kelly Sweet - Dream OnWas the last five years just a dream? I can't feel the same anymore. I'm in this gray area where I want to hate her and I can't help but to love her. I wish there was some way to just break free of this rut and continue onward. Sometimes, I wonder, if it's not such a bad idea to play on a different team.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-65413453809349534722008-04-23T22:22:00.000-07:002008-04-23T22:27:06.802-07:00

This is dedicated to someone whose name I will not mention, though I'm sure she'll figure it out as she reads.I can't believe you are standing there,tears in your eyes,still loving me for who I amand not for what I could've been.Ignore the scars upon my fleshand sing me to sleepbecause your voice is strange and familiarbut cleanses the failure off my being.My only wish is to see the person you

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-71206900479246632382008-04-23T19:34:00.000-07:002008-04-23T19:42:54.872-07:00

Five years thrown away because she didn't feel the same anymore is understandable. But what she did is grounds for downright loathing, yet I can't. I still think that she's the girl who fell in love with me all those years ago. I suppose I'm foolish and think that things will get better. Shit. I really need to get out more and start feeling alive again. I need to die, or something.In many ways,

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-8130205391064914672008-04-22T16:06:00.001-07:002008-04-22T16:07:15.155-07:00

Is really really hard, by the way. I'm reading up on HTML and I'm dying. I think I'm throwing in the towel and using a generator instead.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-41271051394505399032008-04-21T15:49:00.000-07:002008-04-21T15:55:36.463-07:00

I'm not liking the book much. I've never hated a child in my life as much as I hate Briony Tallis. So there we go, I'm still reading, slowly I may add, the book. I'm so needing something different to read. Any suggestions?

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-52715377137294590172008-04-21T08:33:00.000-07:002008-04-21T08:37:24.407-07:00

The only problem with being a bum is that all you friends work. Well, most of them anyway. I'm going out with El Senor in a bit to grab coffee and talk about our printing press and porno shop - the two oddest projects I've ever been involved with because they don't correlate in anyway, lest we are pressing our own porn, which, by the way, would be sick.A few of my friends on Myspace seem to think

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-68526270228199712712008-04-20T22:56:00.001-07:002008-04-20T23:09:29.967-07:00

I'm suicidal. And apparently, I'm also a cutter. I'm not sure why this thing happened, but the current events of my life has only escalated my thoughts of death. Everywhere I turn is another way for me to kill myself. A plastic bag left on the floor makes me think of asphyxiation; the blade from my scrap booking days makes a pleasant friend.I love you, my friend(s). I think about you and the kid

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-81006974169555448842008-04-20T20:55:00.000-07:002008-04-20T21:11:22.052-07:00

Hung out with Mari earlier tonight. For those of you who don't know, Mari was my first serious relationship and also my first in another department. We haven't seen each other in seven years so it was a bit awkward at first. And I know it's weird to say this, but after all this time, she still has the same scent perfuming off her. It's not a negative thing, by the way, or an insulting scent, but

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-8498339497051921352008-04-20T16:28:00.000-07:002008-04-20T16:30:02.919-07:00

Happy 4/20 readers. For those of you toking up today, make sure to do it in the privacy of ones own home or at a party. Don't want the man coming after you, do you? Speaking of the man, today was horribly packed at all Chinese buffets. Methinks 4/20 has something to do about it.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-47931149984796215572008-04-19T20:32:00.000-07:002008-04-19T20:34:12.552-07:00

The asshole bit didn't work. I'm not an asshole anymore. Sorry to disappoint you.But here, ladies and gentlemen, is an asshole who will always be an asshole:

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-57768500561404734282008-04-19T17:09:00.000-07:002008-04-19T17:12:51.871-07:00

Quite a few of you wrote asking if you're the one. I'm not saying names, though. I'd rather not embarrass myself nor anyone else. However, I should learn to disable comments so I don't have to deal with them. I heard what I wanted to hear and now I'm settled. Though I feel really crappy for making anyone feel rejected. That wasn't even my intention and I didn't expect you to take it the wrong

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-48309428159098844162008-04-19T11:29:00.000-07:002008-04-19T11:36:14.083-07:00

So I've lost my niche for this blog. I'm not even sure what it's purpose was; however, I have accepted the fact that it's not perfect and it probably won't be read by anyone except those within my circle - a circle that spans from the tip of Texas all the way to Spokane, Washington and Chicago, Illinois (and Singapore, but it seems a certain person hasn't ventured into the blog yet) - and I've

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-68908015488442353852008-04-19T01:06:00.000-07:002008-04-19T01:09:36.978-07:00

My response: I hate it when the girl pretends to be punk.That's all I have to say about her. That and the girl should really stop copying other people's music.Wait, there's more. I thought she was trying to get away from being pop. She's exactly what she said she wasn't, only with "heavier" guitars. So not only is she a plagiarist, a liar, but she's a sell out as well. Amazing. Fucking amazing.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-70383835643411997712008-04-18T23:53:00.000-07:002008-04-18T23:56:45.481-07:00

Dear reader,You know I'm addressing you, this person whose name will remain in the shadows. I need to know the truth and the whole truth. And if your feelings for me are more than what they should be, we'll have to nip it in the bud before anything can bloom. I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same about you and I probably never will.Your friend,Ennui Prayer

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-25433653111878194112008-04-18T23:25:00.000-07:002008-04-18T23:28:56.829-07:00

The plagiarist's book is all over the damn store.Had Hitchhiker's Guide, but left it behind after losing interested in its yellowed pages (lo, I'll probably never get a chance of a cheap hardcover into another year or so - whatever, right?).Some people need to have an inner voice before talking as they may insult a friend in the process. Sorry I don't have the "glamorous" job. Some times you

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-84589946172933999122008-04-18T14:26:00.000-07:002008-04-18T14:33:08.115-07:00

I loved Stabbing Westward, still would had they been around long enough to make it into my adulthood. I believe their last CD was pressed in 2001, with an essentials following two years later. I used to buy my head in music like this when I was a kid and things got hard. I've never found so much significance in "Sometimes it Hurts" until now, though. I guess it's because I've never been in love

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-91304798428407329892008-04-17T23:01:00.000-07:002008-04-17T23:20:28.726-07:00

I promised I wouldn't blog about the subject. And because I respect my friend's wishes, I will not blog about it or mention a single name in the blog. You are a liar, "friend." You are despicable. A serpent. A stealer of ideas. I can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked into your world.Here's few songs for you, fucker:

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-12560612783263100612008-04-17T20:30:00.000-07:002008-04-17T21:13:58.850-07:00

This post isn't about me, it's about Richard Sanchez, Amado, El Senor, and the other wonderful readers at the NOP reading. It was Richard's night actually. A great writer from Edinburg, born and raised. You'd love his stuff if you have a taste for comedy. He was most recently published in The Journal of Texas Trophy Hunters, November/December 2007 issue. If you have the issue right in front of

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-22516348949883814262008-04-17T14:38:00.000-07:002008-04-17T14:53:24.604-07:00

For those who know me personally, I'm not a big fan of Lil Wayne. Truth is, I don't know who the hell Lil Wayne is. But you also know that I know a good song when I hear one, despite if it's outside my normal musical circle. Once in a while the rapper will put down the bitches and hos genre and pick up the mic to actually make a song with a purpose. Many of the times, this song is buried in the

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-36914334171664502862008-04-17T10:30:00.000-07:002008-04-17T10:34:17.063-07:00

Tune in tokyoI like cats. Yes I do. I like cats, how about you?!

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-30406092222108249032008-04-16T23:59:00.000-07:002008-04-17T00:19:33.321-07:00

Maybe it's time to make new friends, right? That's what they say so things don't get too incestuous. I'm not sure where to start. Meeting new people means I'd have to go out to places where you meet new people and I don't that. So here lies the problem.Being single sucks. I haven't been single in such a long time that I don't remember how it feels to be on my own. I'm sure a lot of you know what

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-31141831254496234572008-04-16T21:55:00.000-07:002008-04-16T22:05:05.325-07:00

div#main{overflow:visible;}I don't know about you, but I absolutely can't stand Ann Coulter, or as I like to call her the woman's whose vagina is drier than a desert and acts as a gateway to hell. Nothing intelligent comes out her mouth and half the shit she talks about isn't protected by anything factual. She's making tons of money from morons who think she's the patron saint of the Republican

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-22784831485792714832008-04-16T10:59:00.000-07:002008-04-16T11:01:01.156-07:00

Philosopher just IMed me this pic of Tay Zonday. I think you know where I'm going with this.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-79770810464904817102008-04-16T10:35:00.001-07:002008-04-16T10:47:17.734-07:00

So I got a Power for Living book in the mail today. It was free, so I'm not complaining, but it is another Christian propaganda book trying to convince you that their god is real and you should love him with all your might. I just wanted it to make fun of it because it's what I do.It came with a copy of The Gospel of St. John - I have a lot of those, by the way. And a post card asking if I was

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-57467442387864150712008-04-15T21:15:00.000-07:002008-04-15T21:27:24.221-07:00

I've posted more times today than I have on any given day. I'm new - sorta - here on Blogger so I want to get a hang of all this. I'm not sure.Anyway, today I made a confession about wanting a kid. The moment's passed - I thought about it Friday when I was out with Philosopher and her little girl, the Squid. I don't know. Being around the Squid actually made me feel a little better, happier than

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-7342792553819534892008-04-15T18:36:00.001-07:002008-04-15T18:47:05.933-07:00

The moment I hit the Publish Post button for the last post, this commercial comes out starring Al Sharpton (a.k.a. "The White man done the Black man wrong" guy) and Pat Robertson (a.k.a. Satan). I have a hard time getting my head around the whole concept. Before you jump in, I am a liberal and I think people like Pat should be shot out of a cannon straight to his god, but I despise Al Sharpton

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-51550914701887512662008-04-15T18:27:00.000-07:002008-04-15T18:34:03.511-07:00

Mom's sick. Not because of the aforementioned man friend, but she's physically sick. Doctor Woman prescribed her Moxifloxacin a.k.a. Avelox. Now I thought the purpose of medicines were supposed to make you feel better not make situations worse. Because I need to know what I put into my body, I feel the need to know what my loved ones put into theirs. So I looked it up. Here is what I found:Side

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-51506095878542992372008-04-15T16:43:00.000-07:002008-04-15T16:53:10.285-07:00

I hate my mother's new man friend. And not for the reasons a lot of you already thinking of. I just can't stand the guy. He's not us, doesn't belong in this corner of the world. He's too perky. And he talks to me like I'm a five-year-old whenever he calls. I've never met him in real life, though I know they've gone to lunch/dinner/ice cream in the past. Mom refuses to call this a date because

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-69668732695667450942008-04-15T10:06:00.001-07:002008-04-15T10:25:59.648-07:00

Charlton Heston died last week. I was left with a decision. Normally, when I was on LiveJournal, I would write a piece dedicated to the dead celebrity. I'm not a big fan of celebrity, but they are human after all and do need to remember for their accomplishments. Heston, however, was a different thing. While I adored him growing up with movies like Planet of the Apes being on a frequent loop

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-12241757061311343362008-04-15T09:49:00.000-07:002008-04-15T09:57:55.358-07:00

Stuffy day. My nose is drier than fuck, yet runny all the same. A tiny itch is running up my nostril and I know that any day now I'll bleed - gush - out blood. And now I'm wondering if I'll live this one. I know, melodramatic, but no one promised I wouldn't be.There's a mess on my desk. I read too much. I think I should really clean that before I continue on with my day. But what's the point? I

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-66246276799494142882008-04-15T01:31:00.000-07:002008-04-15T01:33:17.425-07:00

Every wake up one morning and say to yourself, at least I'm not a porn critic? I don't think I'll be able to say that anymore.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-50530552264330235762008-04-14T23:58:00.000-07:002008-04-15T00:04:10.931-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about doing new things because they say that's how you deal with shitty events in your life. Rather than revert to some junky or booze hound, mistaking that to be fun because all the big kids are doing it, I think I need myself a photographer. Wait, it gets better.I've been wanting to revamp the blog - considering that I moved to Blogger, I think that would suffice, but

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-30779697182877998802008-04-14T17:28:00.000-07:002008-04-14T17:36:49.958-07:00

I need income. Problem is, I'm not sure what to do right now. Everything I've applied for has shot me down because of one minor detail - we all know what that is. I dunno. I suppose a lot of things are bugging me right now. I'm not in the mood of talking too much about things. Fuck, I'm hungry.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-27368604860983051262008-04-14T16:28:00.002-07:002008-04-14T16:29:36.393-07:00

The weather has been crappy these last few days. My nostrils are drying than an old woman’s cunt (I’ve always wanted to say that, by the way). This leaves me in constant fear every time my nose begins to drip. I quickly hold my hand over it, and then check if the fluid’s clear of it’s red. Just a moment ago, something fell out of my nose. Gross, I know, but it wasn’t liquid. I grabbed a

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-56227630101906873832008-04-14T16:28:00.001-07:002008-04-14T16:34:30.633-07:00

I can hear the silence buzzing in my ears. It’s a horrible sound. The last words I told her still echo in my head and I slowly feel stupid after I say them. We’re I’m in habit of telling her certain things, sweet things, I suppose, but it all depends on taste. I told her Sweet dreams as we were hanging up. She replied in the same manner. “Always and only of…” and I held that upward

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-14190088180086553372008-04-14T16:16:00.000-07:002008-04-14T16:23:16.936-07:00

I think I got everything down. I made the move from WordPress to Blogger in a matter of hours, but thankfully less than 24 hours. However, I'm thinking of posting the last blogs from WordPress here to make up from loss time. I ask that those of you who love my writings stick with me. I love you all for the encouragement.You'll notice that Sex Wednesdays has its own Blogger page. You can swing

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763149750192079678.post-69397649317563788202008-04-14T00:34:00.000-07:002008-04-14T00:36:01.822-07:00

So I came crawling back to Blogger until I can suss some things out.

Ennui Prayernoreply@blogger.com0