I've been so defiant when it comes to taking medication for my depression. I'm aware that pills help some people, but it's not a natural feeling for me. "Feel like yourself again," the slogan reads. That's funny, I think. I thought that's what I was trying to escape.
I walk around in the morning feeling a sense of emptiness. With Jyg removed from the equation, I feel like a weight has been lifted and a void has begun to eat away my heart. Perhaps it's time I thought about pills. Or better yet, allowed myself to smoke cannabis as ingesting it will only cause hallucinations.
I'm no sure of much these days. I get these mixed signals that I'm sure are just of my own vulnerable imagination. I'm also so sick of hearing people telling me I deserve better as if I didn't know that already. What I deserve and what I want are two different things. I don't want to fuck up what I deserve; I have no problem fucking up what I want as it's already been fucked.
I walk around in the morning feeling a sense of emptiness. With Jyg removed from the equation, I feel like a weight has been lifted and a void has begun to eat away my heart. Perhaps it's time I thought about pills. Or better yet, allowed myself to smoke cannabis as ingesting it will only cause hallucinations.
I'm no sure of much these days. I get these mixed signals that I'm sure are just of my own vulnerable imagination. I'm also so sick of hearing people telling me I deserve better as if I didn't know that already. What I deserve and what I want are two different things. I don't want to fuck up what I deserve; I have no problem fucking up what I want as it's already been fucked.
0 comments:
Post a Comment